No question about it, lack of boundaries affect you.
And even when you’ve got your red velvet ropes in place, keeping them stationary in the long term is key to your well being. Handling interruptions, shifting focus on a dime, and finding your way back to the true north of your task is trickier than it seems. Even when we think these micro shifts are effortless – in reality they take a toll.
We need to start a specific conversation about this. What I’d really like to know is exactly how you handle the splits and shifts…how you find your way back.
The inspiration for this post happened during a quiet Friday afternoon at the office. A woman came by my office that day,
more precisely –
…a VPI (very possibly important) person in charge of a big office move stops by to see me.
We’re lending one of our cubicles to another work group who needed an extra office. The cube has been ready for its new occupant for a while. Or so I thought…
If I’m seeing this woman, it’s certain that there is something not-quite-right. But it’s Friday, and I’m the point of contact person for the office.
It’s clear that I’m on a telephone call with a customer. She sees this and does not leave. Madam VPI hovercrafts at the entrance to my cubicle.
Completely normal Barge Queen behavior.
Barge Queen: Person who has a perceived need or urgent request to be heard right now, and who will launch into conversation without first checking in with you to see if you are at a good stopping point within your work.
I think briefly about asking VPI to give me a moment. For some reason it doesn’t seem like a good idea to ignore the VPI. I decide to end my call – abruptly. Inside, I’m frustrated because of the rudeness. In a bit of a snit.
On the outside a completely different story is broadcasted.
“What’s up?” I ask in the most graceful voice full of honey butter tones.
As I speak with her, lyrics from a song called Chasing Cars drift across my mind:
“I need your grace To remind me To find my own.”
(One of my all time favorites, go have a listen.)
Ahhhh. That’s nice isn’t it?
Now that we’ve located our grace, back to her Majesty.
She: “Aren’t you going to clean out that cube?”
Hmm. My mind flicks instantly to a scene. Full cubicle, unclean, full of books from old owner, file cabinets in the way that need out, now!
I quickly head over.
Reality: Cube has been cleaned out. What was left you ask…?
One box of pencils and,
A tabletop document in box.
Whew! I didn’t need to grab the handtruck after all.
I moved these things. Moved what she needed, then asked if there was anything else. Calendar off the wall perhaps?
All the while I thought…
Specificity is a beautiful thing.
How different would the scenario been had it gone down like this:
“There are a couple things left in the cube. I’m not sure where you want them, can you come take a look?’
Lovely.
I get it that she’s stressed about coordinating a big move and it needs to go efficiently.
To her, the pencils and document box were annoying and needed to be moved immediately. She was in the get it done – there’s a million tiny details – zone.
Focused.
Again I say: Specificity = Beautiful Collaboration.
When we know what is, when we have the information, we get to make an informed decision. With grace, and blood pressure remaining in the normal range.
And how about not speaking in absolutes? “Aren’t you going to clean out this cubicle?”
Big this, or little this?
Depends on the perspective. From her view, the box of pencils and the document holder.
Biggish.
Truthfully – I don’t envy her. Moving sucks.
Do you have a Barge Queen (or King) moment? How do you handle those priority requests and majestic moments?
Tell me.
Boundaries & Barge Queens
by Linda Eaves on October 28, 2011
No question about it, lack of boundaries affect you.
And even when you’ve got your red velvet ropes in place, keeping them stationary in the long term is key to your well being. Handling interruptions, shifting focus on a dime, and finding your way back to the true north of your task is trickier than it seems. Even when we think these micro shifts are effortless – in reality they take a toll.
We need to start a specific conversation about this. What I’d really like to know is exactly how you handle the splits and shifts…how you find your way back.
The inspiration for this post happened during a quiet Friday afternoon at the office. A woman came by my office that day,
more precisely –
…a VPI (very possibly important) person in charge of a big office move stops by to see me.
We’re lending one of our cubicles to another work group who needed an extra office. The cube has been ready for its new occupant for a while. Or so I thought…
If I’m seeing this woman, it’s certain that there is something not-quite-right. But it’s Friday, and I’m the point of contact person for the office.
It’s clear that I’m on a telephone call with a customer. She sees this and does not leave. Madam VPI hovercrafts at the entrance to my cubicle.
Completely normal Barge Queen behavior.
I think briefly about asking VPI to give me a moment. For some reason it doesn’t seem like a good idea to ignore the VPI. I decide to end my call – abruptly. Inside, I’m frustrated because of the rudeness. In a bit of a snit.
On the outside a completely different story is broadcasted.
“What’s up?” I ask in the most graceful voice full of honey butter tones.
As I speak with her, lyrics from a song called Chasing Cars drift across my mind:
“I need your grace To remind me To find my own.”
(One of my all time favorites, go have a listen.)
Ahhhh. That’s nice isn’t it?
Now that we’ve located our grace, back to her Majesty.
She: “Aren’t you going to clean out that cube?”
Hmm. My mind flicks instantly to a scene. Full cubicle, unclean, full of books from old owner, file cabinets in the way that need out, now!
I quickly head over.
Reality: Cube has been cleaned out. What was left you ask…?
One box of pencils and,
A tabletop document in box.
Whew! I didn’t need to grab the handtruck after all.
I moved these things. Moved what she needed, then asked if there was anything else. Calendar off the wall perhaps?
All the while I thought…
Specificity is a beautiful thing.
How different would the scenario been had it gone down like this:
“There are a couple things left in the cube. I’m not sure where you want them, can you come take a look?’
Lovely.
I get it that she’s stressed about coordinating a big move and it needs to go efficiently.
To her, the pencils and document box were annoying and needed to be moved immediately. She was in the get it done – there’s a million tiny details – zone.
Focused.
Again I say: Specificity = Beautiful Collaboration.
When we know what is, when we have the information, we get to make an informed decision. With grace, and blood pressure remaining in the normal range.
And how about not speaking in absolutes? “Aren’t you going to clean out this cubicle?”
Big this, or little this?
Depends on the perspective. From her view, the box of pencils and the document holder.
Biggish.
Truthfully – I don’t envy her. Moving sucks.
Do you have a Barge Queen (or King) moment? How do you handle those priority requests and majestic moments?
Tell me.