Fat Suit & Popcorn – How I Love Thee

Whether you welcome it or not, change is stressful. And, to me, it is especially stressful when it is taking you towards the unknown.

I think living in a body that is drastically different from what you have had for a long period of time definitely qualifies as “unknown”.

Slowing down is NOT quitting and it is NOT failure. It is simply allowing yourself to adjust a bit more readily to all the changes taking place.

I think you are wise to stop and examine when you started hearing “should” in your thoughts. This is YOUR journey and you get to be in control of it. It cannot be measured against anyone else’s journey. That way lies madness.

I also believe that our bodies store emotion within them. As you are releasing all this weight, you are also releasing all that stored emotion. That might be contributing to why you are feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Allow yourself to process things. Allow yourself to, perhaps, mourn this loss of your “fat suit”. Perhaps take a moment to give your old self some loving farewells along the way. Maybe let that former self know that you loved her and appreciated her for everything she did for you. Let her know that you needed that time in that cocoon but now it is time to come out and spread new wings. Validating who you were may be a good thing as you continue to move towards this new being you are becoming.

I love the car dancing, woohoo!

You’re definitely experiencing something normal… And carbs tend to be the “easy way” to deal with a lot of things like anxiety.

Sending you lots of hugs & love, you can do this, you are a strong beautiful intelligent woman full of wisdom!
.-= Nathalie Lussier´s last blog ..Why Food Allergies for Nuts, Gluten, and Milk are on the Rise and What to do About It =-.

It’s perfectly normal and ok to be anxious at this point. I’d imagine that if you (or anyone else) did not feel this way to some extent, you would instead be stuffing your emotions and ignoring the changes you are experiencing. Keep moving forward with your relationships (with family, friends, food, etc) at a pace you feel comfortable

Linda,
The emotions are huge with body changes, and you are eloquently demonstrating those fluctuations. So my job here is not as a psychiatrist but as a physician which is to ask is there a physiologic reason why your body would be asking your brain to slow down the weight loss.

And the answer is yes. Rapid weight loss can accentuate a plethora of already existing nutritional deficiencies and metabolic abnormalities, as well as changes in brain chemistry. Rapid weight loss (with or without surgery, with or without supplements) can lead to essential fatty acid deficiencies, protein deficiencies, vitamin, mineral and trace element deficiencies, as well as depression, anxiety, low energy, poor sleep and generally feeling stressed.

Sometimes you can get clues from what foods you are craving. Chocolate is serotonin for depression/anxiety, a caffeine-derivate called theobromine for energy and magnesium for pain. Fried foods may be fatty acids. Salty foods may be iodine deficiency. Carbs in general are comfort foods that increase all the relaxation transmitters – serotonin, GABA, oxytocin – it helps to individuate the ingredients to get more information – butter, sugar, fruit, wheat, etc. Craving more food of any kind may be a result of normal but lower blood sugars – usually accompanied by irritability, anxiety or brain fog.

So I guess I’m here to deliver you absolution. This may not be emotional at all. This may be purely physiologic.

Examine the supplements and what you’ve been eating up until now. Your body doesnt want the excess adipose, it wants the nutrition. So it’s just a matter of figuring out what that computer between your ears is requesting.

The binary code of depression and stress – 70% dark chocolate 1 and 1/2 oz daily to lower your cortisol and raise your serotonin, and allow weight loss. Go figure.

If it does turn out that you are in perfect metabolic and nutritional homeostasis, and this is all about feelings… Yoga will release the stored emotion – look for hip and chest openers. Meditation/prayer, guided imagery, hot baths and reading and sleeping will rest the soul. Music and art and friends and pets mend the spirit.

So does blogging.

In the end, the answer is to continually remind your anxious self that you are not here yesterday as a fat person and you are not here tomorrow as a thin person, you are here now. At whatever size you are. And you’re doing fine.

Best, Sara
.-= Sara Stein MD´s last blog ..NOOOOO!!! An Open Letter to Oprah on Obesity =-.

Sara Stein posted a link on facebook and led me to this great post. I think you are learning to listen to and respect your body. The body has its own intelligence and has kept us alive even when we were self-destructive, punitive and just plan mean to ourselves. I sense you are transitioning from seeing the body as your adversary to making the choice to value what the body needs and to treat it with the kind of care you would extend to a life-long friend.
.-= ruthdemitroff´s last blog ..Two Wounded Creatures =-.

I completely understand girl. You’re doing great. Do what feels right to you!

I just got down to 222 today and I’m feeling pretty great. Remember that TV show, Room 222? We are a pair of beautiful bookends!

Cheers,
Suz

Linda,

Boy does this bring back memories of the first couple of years for me…I didn’t know what to do with myself or how to deal with issues that came up…I would normally stuff my face with food to mask the problem..And then came the big issue was I wanted to escape everything and that included my husband…It wasn’t him but me grieving for my old self and didn’t know how to handle it…You can say I went mad for awhile and put alot of people through hell and back with me…It’s not easy losing yourself and coping with all these changes so quickly…That’s the bad thing about this it’s not gradual it’s all at once…When people diet they have time to adjust to their new life, but we don’t…I believe there needs to be a psychologist on hand to help us deal with all of these issues that arise…Your not alone in this..It’s taken me years really to learn how to handle things and sometimes I fall off the wagon and go back to being what I feel is like a crazy person might feel..My emotions are all over the place and my hubby is picking up the pieces…I’m always here if you need to talk…Wishing you all the luck in the world…

Berrigirl

Hi Linda,
Wow… You just gave words to something that has been occuring in journey. I have been doing WeightWatchers since October 2008. I had initial success, loss twenty-something pounds by January. Dropped a pant size or two, started feeling “better”. Then I stalled. I stopped doing the things that were making for successful weight loss. I managed to keep about 15 pounds of the original off. Around mid September 2009, I decided that it was my food choices that were keeping me from succeeding at weight loss. I read book, felt inspired, and took gluten out of my diet. I dropped 8 pounds that next week. I continued to drop weight edging closer to the weight of 230. I dropped another size or two. I started feeling, “good”. Then I hit the holding pattern again. I have gained and loss the same 5 lbs since March. My food choices are back again as the issue for my lack of success, or so it would seem.

What if I am unconciously “slowing down” my body changes by what I eat? Holy Crap! Is it too much for my head to wrap around the idea that thinner is better?! Holy Crap, I just realized that the only time that I have ever been “thin” I was at the lowest places of my life… No Wonder I am getting in my own way! What a wonderfully self-protective creature I am!

Wow… Thanks for the ah-ha moment…
Love you!
Rhonda